Grown Up

I thought I would outgrow
the desire for my mother's approval
the need for my grandmother's help
a long drive with the windows down
and the music loud
chatting on the phone past my bedtime
being the big sister
the comfort of old friends.

I thought I would know more
about how the world works
about others
about how I work
about God.

I thought I would feel
more confident
and less self conscious.

But I also thought I would be an astronaut or an anchorwoman for CNN, drive a Mercedes Benz, wear expensive clothing and have my nails and toes done on a regular basis.

I s m i l e and I l a u g h

I was so wrong-
and I'm so glad.